what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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