I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
