someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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