He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
