Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
