the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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