I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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