woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
