oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize