shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
