In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
