Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
