y did u give ur computer a hand job?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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