Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
false alarm, still single
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
