i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize