Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
