You smell like a Billy Joel song
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
