i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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