Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
