i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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