Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
