i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
