She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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