i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
