she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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