whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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