Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He did a backflip because drugs
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
