I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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