Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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