That's intense
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize