I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
