p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
