can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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