Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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