have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
