I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
