what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
