don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
