everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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