my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
