I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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