I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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