Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
