fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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