wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now