"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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