You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
