We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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