When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
