in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
