By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
