So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
