I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
