So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
