Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
