There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
